Thursday, July 26, 2007

Alter Ego Anyone?






M: Bro!!!......All of us have them don't be denying it you know it. You dont know what I'm talking' about? your alter -ego GUY!!!!! we all have them. In certain situations we leave our "normal-selves" and become this totally different being. One good example of that is watching Me, Myself, and Irene.But how many alter-egos do we have. In my own array of personalities theres many and if i could have a moment of your time that would be just peachy!!........i have my cool-self quiet collective..serious type which usually comes out when something is Boring as hell, or when I'm on a date with a special lady. Then theres the Crazy out of control character i can REALLY get out of hand at least Ive been told before this one i need to kinda calm down a little sometimes. these two i go in and out of and you just cant tell when I'm in it.... theres other egos Ive made up but this just becomes a long list of great comedic material ahem.............1. Richard Slanks- Video Game Master 40. n still lives with his mom.claims to be the first to beat mario in 4 mins. also has a video game class at a local community center2.Charlie Chocolate- a large super sexual chocolate character. looking for love where ever it may rome. spends his time making up different ways to create sexy chocolate.3. Harry M. Slippy - the gay mechanic. can give you a make over and firepalce your alternatorall the same time. owns a pink honda s2000 with I'm a barbie girl blastng thru the speakers4. Craz Azz- gentelman Mcee raps bout what he seee's in the hard life lol!!.opens doors for chicks makes them hatas sick. keeps it real loves the ladies thick. doesn't fake no one unless hes doing magic tricks.i have more but the list has to stop here......sorry cool cats just leave itfor another day yo....aight makes for a good script for a movie no?...yeah I'm in the process....this movie is gonna rock!! heh heh wutever I'm sure everyone has at least ONE alter ego tell us about it ................




C: I love this! I know I always have some long ass introduction to whatever the topic at hand is so this time I'm just gonna cut to the chase and dive right in. Enjoy my many alter egos:


If its party time...


- Fire - This is when some dude has pissed me off and now I'm mad at all men. It's best to stay out of my path if you're a dude and in my vicinity.


- Amnesia - This is when I had such a bad week/day that all I want to do is drink myself into oblivion.


- Stunna - For some reason I am extra confident tonight, I treat every sidewalk like a runway.


- Miss You - I miss my friends so I demand that they all show up so I can be surrounded by them all night, I ignore pretty much anyone else.


- Hunter - I'm feeling good, and on the prowl. Count yourself lucky if you're the object of my obsession.


In everyday life...


- Curious Cat - I'm determined to learn everything about a particular subject. It has peaked my interest so now I have to know everything about it.


- Play with me - I am bored and on the hunt for someone to bother, don't try and escape, do not scream for help, just let it happen. This syndrome is always accompanied


- Clean Freak - Get out of my way unless you're gonna help me tidy up!


- Scribbles - I get inspired and have to write it down anywhere: napkins, paper cups, wrappers, my palms, etc.


- Molongina - When I do/say something stupid.


- ADD Girl - Sometimes I lose my train of...

Ok, that's all I want to share for now. Hope you enjoyed them and hopefully we will see some of your alter egos in the comments. Peace.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Being alone is not THE END OF THE WORLD!!!!!

M: To be by the lonesome.its been a long time since a good relationship as come across my heart.As a single gentleman i see many things that are good about being alone. i have friends that have been alone along time in their playboy lifestyle in their bachelor pad they call home. there is much liberty with being single many certain things on can do like go wherever you want, eat what you want iguess, burp where it would be inappropriate, say a thing here or there to the fine female across from you. All that as a MAN is what i think are the freedoms of being single & of course the obvious flirting, looking for, the courtship journey from hello my name is to good morning. Some have been alone for years and haven't felt the yearn for another( i know they don't though). As i compile these thoughts. i see that being alone doesn't mean its the end of the world. it just means that miss. or Mr. right hasn't bumped into you yet. Or it means to be out more. For example: you would go through this coffee shop everyday what about that smoothie shop next door go n check it out change it up a little, the supermarket you go to head to another one near you re home, i guess change it up. How long is too long being alone i wouldnt know i guess i would ask my granny to answer that question shes 80.Being alone is ok but, theres something missing still maybe cause im still young .The positive, keep it up, optimistic friend can tell you that you have your family, friends blah blah blah they love you that's all you need deal...i know all of that but, damn....where is my special lady the one mainchick that makes me buff up when i see her,check my hair, dust off my shoulders,spray some binaca in my mouth two times before i see her, gives me40 as i give 60 percent, makes a fart joke when i need laugh, get well dressed to impress, open doors for, pass the guy 20 bucks to somthin a little extra, or to get the table in the far back for.......wutev.......



C: Being alone... lets see, well that covers about 90% of my life! lol Honestly I it's not as bad as it sounds, and I should know. The things that bother me the most about being alone (except for the occasional loneliness) really don't have anything to do with me specifically; it's more societies views on singles that disappoint me. Let me give you guys a 'couple' of examples... Lets say your best friends both have significant others, suddenly you don't see them anymore because they only wanna go out with other couples. Whats that about? Like you should be ashamed to have to stand on your own beside them. Like you should want to stay home bored all night rather then take that shameful walk up to the box office and weepingly ask for one ticket to the movie, and then to have to sit there all alone, with no ones hand to hold while your couple friends sit beside you. Come one, we are supposed to be more independent now then when our parents were our ages. Yes, there are certain things that I would not want to do or be seen doing alone, like eating dinner at a restaurant or going on a weekend getaway. I also love how there are these standards for girls my age, if we are single then we "must be looking". Did it ever occur to anyone that while the idea of meeting Mr.Right is almost knock-you-off your-feet amazing we may be perfectly content with the life we have at the moment? I'm so tired of everyone hinting that I am at an age now where I should be wanting to settle down and have babies (something which I do want ... one day). And another thing, people in couples are too celebrated... they get engagement parties, anniversaries, weddings, house warming parties, baptisms, dogs birthdays, etc. all occasions, I might add, that us singles attend and have to buy presents for. I would just love to know where my 'you didn't get knocked up by your boyfriend whom you now have to marry' party is?? Or maybe my ' you weren't so desperate as to marry the first loser you convinced to stay with you out of sheer convenience' present got lost in the mail. *shrug* Yes, being with someone you care about is probably the best thing in the whole world,but do we have to constantly throw things in single peoples faces and try to make them feel inferior? I think not.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

How to ruin a Frienship - 101

We have all probably had dozens of friends throughout our lives. Weather they are the kind that are life changing, or the ones that pop in and out of your life at random intervals, they are all there and will always be imprinted in your brain somehow. Often times, if they are not the kind of friends that have been around for many years the person will fade out of your life as quickly as they came into it. Most of the time the break is clean and mutual, other times you are slightly saddened that the relationship has run its course and is now at a dead stop, and then there are the few times where the end was so abrupt and without any regard for anyone other then them that it leaves a sting that you can feel for a long time to come. This is what got me thinking about friendships in general, to me, it seems relatively simple to keep a friendship afloat. I mean, its not like trigonometry where things can look Japanese to you at some point. Maintaining a friendship is probably the easiest thing anyone can do. Then I came across a sticker on my dashboard that read "please insert one CD at a time" and then it all made sense. If there is someone out there that is so dumb as to try and stick more then one CD into a CD player at one time then there must be some moderately challenged person out there who doesn't know how to stop being selfish, stubborn, and inconsiderate, therefore making them completely unfriendable. (yeah, I made up the word) I thought that maybe if I compiled a set of basic rules on how someone can completely demolish a friendship that they would be able to avoid these things and make themselves into someone that others would want to be friends with. I know, I know it seems like something only an ape wouldn't know... but lets just think about the sticker shall we?? Yeah, that's right, someone had to have tried that before the manufacturer decided to put that warning up for others. And that's what I am trying to do now, but up a warning sticker on the dashboard to help people. So, without further delay these are the rules of how you can destroy a perfectly good friendship. Enjoy.



- Become friends with benefits - This can ruin the friendship if the other persone developes feelings for you that were not part of the earlier stated agreement. One is to assume that with this type of relationshi physical contact doesnt mean that there is a shared intimate closeness.

- Date their siblings - Not something that people are pron ed to do ordinarily, but it does happen. This will surely destroy the friendship no matter the outcome. If things work out between you and the said sibling, then your friend will become second to your new love and therefore things will never be the same. If things end then there will be weirdness between you and your friend. (especially if you were the wrong one)

- Date someone they are dating ( this is in the guy/girl code as well) - No explanation needed, all who do this are scum.

- Borrow Money - People are funny about money. Some people are fine with lending a friend some cash to help them out. Others feel extremely awkward put in that same situation. Its really your call, but know what kind of person they are before you ask them for some flow.

- Let two different friendship circles collide - Sometimes you have a few groups of friends and they are all very different. If they find out about each other then sometimes there is jealousy and hurt feelings. My advice would be to be as honest as possible.

- Don't have their back when you should/loyalty - There are times when your friend is doing something that you don't agree with because it is harmful to them or others, or not in their best interest, or just plain against what you personally believe in. In those instances alone is it OK for you to refrain from supporting them. In all other endeavours, on the other hand, you must support your friends. If for nothing else a friend is someone who has your back when everyone else leaves you behind, if you're not going to be there behind them that what are you doing there at all?

- Confess your undying love - Bad idea. Unless you are 1000% sure that the feelings are mutual then never utter a word about it.

- Lying... period. - As simple and as short as this rule is it is the one that is most commonly broken. No one likes to be lied to, better a brutally heartbreaking truth then a dreamy and sugary sweet lie. Bottom line, if you are the type who is going to do any or all of the previously stated things then at least have the balls to be honest about it to your friends.

And that is it. These are the basic rules that 'M' and I were able to agree on without killing each other over drinks lmao! Just kidding, we rather agreed on most of them. however if you have anything else that should be on here then add it as a comment, we'll be looking forward to the input.

Friday, July 6, 2007

No means NO!



C: As I travel deeper into the dating forest I encounter many more strange creatures in my path. I once believed that the strangest animals were usually found in the outskirts of this jungle and that as I ventured deeper I would find more civilized and refined folks. Boy was I hit hard with brutal reality! I can't say that I have been actively dating for THAT long... maybe four years but I can say that in my short hike down the path of dating I have found more freaks and weirdos now then when I first began. I suppose it was the blind innocence of my first few dates, the butterflies, the nervous laughs shared, even the walk to my doorstep, all sweet moments never tainted by inapropriate proposals or complete lack of reguard and/or respect to my person. But as of right now I can say that the older guys get the more confused, and completely wrong they are about what women really mean when they are speaking to them. Granted, not ALL guys fall in this category. But I have dated a variety of different types and they all seem to be under the same, completely wrong, impression. It seems to me that the older you get, the more guys think you will jump into their back seat for a romp just because they bought you dinner. I wonder if they realize that you are perfectly capable of buying a better dinner yourself. However, you go through the motions, act impressed, let him pay, laugh at his not so funny jokes, and smile to yourself as you think about how you will "forget" to call him back when he calls you the next day. It seems like a complete waste of time now that I see it all written out like that, but we all do it over and over again for the sole purpose of bumping into the right one someday. Anyway, all that said, let me get into the real topic at hand here. Boys listen up, reguardless of what signals you picked up on a lttle while ago, or that look she may have shot at you while you were having that first cocktail.. If she says no, she simply means no. She doesn't mean 'yeah, put yout hand on my leg' or 'please drive to YOUR house when I specifically asked you to take me home right after dinner' she straight up means no. We are not 13 anymore, play fighting because we are too shy to tell you that we like you. I am constantly surprized at how many guys cant take a straight statement for what it really is. The guys I usually end up having to tolerate try and read into everything I say and come up with different meanings, but I'm a straight shooter, I say what I mean. Apparentnly its uncommon or something. *shrug*


M: When No means No hmmmmmm..........??? most dudes are mostly the ones tohave this NOT in thier minds when it comes to courting a lady. when no meansno it usually means YES !! which is confusing for most of the cavemen thatexisist in these times. persistance is a quality that i guess chicks admire.when a man does not give up to try to win her heart. course one can tell theintentions of the brute gentleman once he sees what he fancys. like incertain places this is what goes on for example in a club instead of winninga girl's heart they try to win a round trip in her pants. but i think dudesknow when no means no. when a chick avoids all contact if the situatuion hasgone from random coincidentcial encounters to phone calls, when you dancenext to a lady n they just dance away from you leaving this empty dancefloor space so everyone can see you getting owned.......or the final notewhen theres a restraining order for a distance of 100ft between you andanother lol!!!!! thats called a stalker kids....we say ..........noway!!!!......so is there a tell to know whether or not No means No do alldudes need a class to learn this about ladies there is a class its in ourexperiences....at least most dudes see this like no means no (but, your nottryin hard enough... impress me with somthin' else cause i think yourecute.... but i guess youre not doing the right thing i want in a guy blahblah barf.......lol!!!! ef that!!!..... Marklar......