Thursday, May 22, 2008

So... would you?

M: In life crap happens whether it's by your own doing or by someone else's. The choices we make sometimes are never analyzed correctly or thorough enough. We can only go back and remember what happened in whatever situation review it then sigh with discontent. After our memory brings traces of a past situation gone wrong other thoughts come into play. This is what usually everyone does to kinda figure out what destiny had if store for us with most questions like: "what if i did this","what if i said this instead of this","dammit why did this happen like that?". Often i wonder what would've occurred if i took steps differently too. If there would be anything i could change it would be times where i said things that i didn't mean. Those times where i just say things out of line when an unnecessary emotion comes into play i wish i can go back and keep my patience intact.Then i being to think why was this neseseary and start to reason with myself on what was the pro's and con's. In my head i can imagine a dark room with noting but a glass screen with me in front of it watching a memory of something that had possible paths to take other than the one i took. To clarify the picture here have you ever seen minority report?....if you have (and should see if you haven't)seen the movie you can recall the pre-cog room where they use their gloves to move images and little movie clips.That would be what i am trying to imagine looks like. Our guesses and what ifs that we reason with always end up nowhere but, we still do that. to end it off with a nice quote i found and said YO!! this is true...

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” (this lady ----> Maria Robinson)


C: Ah the age old question: 'If you could go back.. would you change anything?'. I'm torn right down the middle when it comes to this question but lets see if by the time I'm finished writing I would have chosen a side shall we? OK, I admittedly have several regrets as should anyone.. I never believe anyone who says they have no regrets; That's just not possible. As a humans we are all flawed and therefore mistakes will be made, and regrets will inevitably be had.. thus the cycle of learning. Anyway, yes I have regrets but unlike many people I can say that my regrets are largely attributed to times when I wish I would have said or done something when instead I froze. I don't think a calculator could track the times I wished I could jump into a time machine and go back to those instances to change what I didn't do. I, like everyone, kicked myself in the ass every time I thought about past experiences and wished I would have done the opposite of what I ended up doing. So at this point of my post I would have to say yes, if I could go back I would change things, no doubt. But now I gotta look at the other side of this coin. Bad experiences, just like history, always repeat themselves. Rest assured that whatever mistake you made in the past will never consciously make again. I myself, have been tested by life throwing me the same fast balls it once did, but this time I'm ready and able to catch that and throw it back just as hard if not even harder. Sometimes our mistakes mold us into people who are overly cautious, cynical, and unable to trust completely...understandable, some of us mess up way more then others. I can only speak for myself when I say that my bad experiences caused me much inner turmoil for a long period of time but I am glad that I had them. Despite the pain and the anger I learned about other people.. because I always stayed true to myself. The knowledge (or dare I say...wisdom) that I gathered from these trying times opened my eyes in a way I would have never known had I made different decisions. I'm grateful now for the lessons I learned.. as difficult as some of them may have been. And, because of this I would have to say no.. if I could go back I wouldn't change a thing. But that wouldn't be completely true either.. I think my true answer to this question is that there are some situations where I wish I would have spoken up and done something because I would have learned the same lesson either way, and some where I'm glad I choked because I ended up learning allot about the other person and wouldn't have been able to otherwise. I know I'm kind of double dipping with this answer but I can't find a side that doesn't make me want a little bit of the other.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where do I begin, No I don't think I would change a thing, even if I could. I believe that past experiences are what molds us to be the people we are today. Also, there are many, what ifs! What if, I had told that thug in the subway to go fly a kite. What if, that thug pulled out a gun and shot me? No, I am happy with my life just the way it is.

tpau

May 22, 2008 at 6:28 PM  

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